12/26/2010..Home

12/26/2010..Home by SUN Blood featuring embroidered skirts

The Broken Road To True Love

I've been asked a lot recently how I met Severus. So I guess it's time I actually sit down and explain just how I came to be in love with a demon.

It was a typical night for me. A night of partying and having a good time. I'd been hanging out with some friends in the pool and had grown quite bored when I caught the most delicious scent I'd ever smelled. Turning I spotted the sexiest man I'd laid eyes on and I swear to you my heart actually started to beat for a second.

When my eyes met his, I was instantly and happily lost. Every single fiber of my being screamed to go to him, to touch him, to belong to him. Then he spoke to me. That voice, well, that voice nearly drove me to madness right then. I've not been the same since. *laughs*

When he got close, and we were both standing in that pool, right before he kissed me for the first time, I almost felt human again. I was nervous and excited at the same time. I wanted to be in his arms so badly that I wasn't sure it was a wise thing to do. But do it I did.

When his lips met mine, and his arms wrapped around me, I felt like I'd finally found the place I was always meant to be. I'd never felt more at home or at peace. We ended up sleeping together that night which wasn't unusual for me or him for that matter.

But before either of us could think, we were inseparable. We spent almost every night together and I was having the time of my undead life. He made me laugh and I was happy for the first time in so many years.

We went to Rome, where he showed me the city he loved and allowed me to just be in his life. Everything was going along fine until fate stepped in and tore us apart. I made a choice that I've regretted all of this time. I thought I was doing the right thing and I walked away from the only being that ever made me happy.

Of course, me being me, and Sev being Sev, we didn't stay away from each other for long. One night I woke and just couldn't bear it anymore. So I looked him up under the pretense of just wanting to talk. But with us, nothing is ever that simple. I was in his arms and we were right back in the midst of the greatest romance I've ever known. I just couldn't not be with him.

My heart ached for him. My soul cried out to be with him. Neither of us were free and shouldn't have been where we were, but when it's right and you're meant to be, you find yourself doing things you'd not do normally.

We met secretly often and I could feel his pain mingled with mine each time we had to part. I blame myself for all of it. He was trying to move on with his life and I just couldn't move on with mine. I honestly felt as if I wasn't living without him. The only time I felt whole was when he was here.

After leaving my mate, more than once to be truthful, I went to Severus. But by then he was already heavily involved with another. We tried. We tried harder than we probably should've back then and even when he'd say he wished to back off or I went back to my mate, somehow we always found our way back to one another.

Finally we both walked away and I agreed to marry the other mate. This time I tried really hard to stay away from Sev and even managed to do so for a while. Then, one night, out of the blue he was gone. Just gone. No goodbye, nothing.

I literally collapsed. I mean seriously, I didn't want to exist in a world where he wasn't. For the first time in all my years, I knew what true heartbreak was. It took several days before I could stop crying. During this time friends and family stepped in and kept my despair from my soon to be husband. They did everything they could to convince me to marry him.

At that point I wanted nothing but true death. Somehow I made it through the next several months. During that time I'd run into him here and there. Those were the happiest times for me. Just being close to him again. I still believe that Draven always knew my heart never truly belonged to him. Anyone who'd known me and Severus knew that he was the one for me.

After things ended and I'd moved on to a life of being single, I made my way back to Rome. I just wanted to be there again. It was the last place I'd been really happy. I would search the city for him more than once, never finding him. Once night I went so far as to sneak onto the grounds of his home and sat on the bench where we'd been together the last time.

It was then that I realized how much he meant to me. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter what happened the rest of my existence, I'd never love another the way I love Sev. I found myself begging the Gods to return him to me.

Then a few weeks later, I was home and heard a rumor that he'd been seen around town. My heart leaped at the thought of seeing him again. I didn't know what he'd been doing during the time we were apart and I'd no idea if he'd found love in his life. All I knew was that I needed to see him. I needed to feel whole again.

So one night, while sitting in my cottage looking at a picture of him, I gave in and opened the bond to him. I called to him, never expecting him to show up but damn if there wasn't a demon at my door almost immediately.

We were right back where we'd started. My heart felt complete. It was as if we'd never parted. Then a few days later, he literally swept me off my feet when he said he loves me.

Now, we're spending as much time together as possible and are in an exclusive relationship. Recently, thanks to Lory and her potion, and me and my inability to follow directions, we found out that we're expecting a little monster. We're happy. We're together, which is exactly where we belong. As long as Severus is by my side and loving me, I can face anything.

I am, now and forever, his.

Fuck You...YEAH YOU!

I've debated on posting this for sometime. Now, with the mood my human is in, I'm going to channel her a bit and tell you exactly what I think.

Hate me all you fucking want, I'm NOT changing and I'm NOT going any damn where. The more you bitch and moan, the more I am going to do the shit that pisses you off. Every time you speak my name or bitch about me, you make me more famous. I WIN!

Think about that when you have something to say about me. For each second you spend on me, I'm controlling you, dumbass. How does it feel to know that I can make your day so miserable that you feel the need to bitch all the time?

Feels pretty fucking good for me.

I don't give a flying fuck if I have 1 follower or 1 million. I'm still gonna do me the way I wanna do me. Take it, leave it, love it, hate it makes no fucking difference to me. Your pathetic little opinion is nothing in the grand scheme of my existence. I do this shit and I do it better than you ever could.

Now for those that are so damn worried about a demon, get over it. I came to this RP world alone and have absolutely no problem continuing in it alone. What goes on between me and anyone I RP with is between us. NOT YOU. Unless you're fucking me, what I do is not of your concern. My pussy is my pussy. And for your information, I never sold the shit, I give it away for free. And they are lined the fuck up to get a piece.

That said....I've got one last thing for you...


FUCK YOU!

Love and kisses,

Sunshine



For those that have something to say...GET IN THE RING MOTHER FUCKER AND I'LL KICK YOU'RE BITCHY LITTLE ASS PUNK!

Inquisitions in Rome

~~Rome, Late September 2010~~

I sit alone in a darkened room, the call of death screaming to be answered. My days and nights have begun to blur to the point that only my instincts allow me to know the difference in time. I've been here for weeks now. Weeks without feeding. Weeks of silver burning into my flesh. The pain has become my only friend.

I refuse to allow the tears to come. I blink them back every time they threaten to fall. To show weakness to these humans would be the death of me. A death they long for.

My head hangs to my chest, my strength gone. It's how he finds me. Their so called inquisitor. He once again takes a seat just out of my reach. I slowly lift my eyes to meet his, hatred burning darkly in them. His smell, the rush of his blood, entices me.

My hands grip the chair's arms so tightly they begin to crack beneath my fingers. I can smell the fear he has. Even as weak as I am, they fear me. It's my only weapon. The only thing that keeps me undead.

As he begins to speak, my growl shakes the room around us. I'm tired of answering his questions. I'm sick of his voice in my ear all the time. Do these breathers not understand that I can't tell them things I don't know?

I force my head up, holding it steady with the very last drops of my strength. Never let them see you struggle. My maker's words serving me well in this moment.

The inquisitor's questions continue and I remain silent. Not because I wish not to answer, but because it's my only bargaining chip at the moment. I wait. I wait for long periods of silence.

Finally, my voice dark with anger, I fill the room with the memories I carry of that evening in question.

"I don't know the answers you seek. I've given you every drop of information I recall. But if we must go this route again, I'll tell you the same as every other time.

I did not harm the girl. I did not bring about the death that you seek vengeance for.

I met the girl at Club Night and yes, I fed from her and we enjoyed the evening together. She claimed to be of age and I had no reason to doubt such. My last memory of the child is her laughing.

If I had wished her harm, I'd have done so from the beginning. The very nature of my being is to kill and yet I've managed to not do so for months while in your country. Why, then, would I decide to do so now?"

I let my voice trail off and held his gaze. I could not tell if he believed me or just thought me insane, but either way, I ensured that he know were I to ever be free, his death would be my only goal. My fangs extended fully, which, given the circumstances, could only be attributed to the rage I felt so strong.

Without word, the inquisitor took his leave, a look of utter disbelief upon his twisted face.

I waited for what seemed decades before letting my head hang back down. I knew they watched me even then. My internal struggle between not showing them any shred of weakness and needing the moment's rest consumed me to the point of distraction.

It was in these moments that I found solace in memories of happier times in Rome. It is what fueled me to fight. The knowledge that were I to escape with my undeath, I'd find my way back to that place. A place where the rage did not rule my existence. A place where I felt safe again.

Little did I know, safety would come sooner than I ever expected.

Going to BelleRive

Going to BelleRive by SUN Blood featuring a snake ring

Demon's Girlfriend

The day started as any other, with me wide awake, fighting the bleeds and death. My death slumber isn't easy to achieve lately. Too many dreams plague me and I'd rather just face the bleeds than the dreams.

I'd been lying in bed, bored and staring at the ceiling when HE appeared. My smile was instantaneous when I saw him. It's no secret that Severus makes me happy, no matter how bad things are in my undead life.

We chatted and then somehow wound up naked in bed together. Ok, ok, I admit it, when it comes to this demon, I have absolutely NO self-control. He brings out a side of me I rarely show.

It wasn't until later,that I got the biggest shock of my undeath. We'd been chatting, about nothing and everything when I teased him that if he wasn't careful people would assume we're a couple. Imagine my surprise when he said he wouldn't mind if we were. Then he starts talking about us being exclusive and I nearly fell down out of pure shock.

I remember a time when Sev once told me he didn't think he could love and he sure didn't want monogamy. Now, here he was saying he wanted to be with just ME. Yep, I was fucking floored.

And before I could recover, he just spits out that he loves me. Uh huh...you heard me...he used the "L" word. My first thought was, "well fuck me standing, this demon finally admitted it" but that quickly vanished because I was so focused on the words he was still saying.

Alright, I confess, I didn't hear much after the love part, but hell can you blame a bitch? This demon has held my heart from the moment he strolled into my crazy undead life. And it does seem that I hold his.

Scary thought isn't it? An vampire with an affinity for evil in love with a demon who loves her right back. I'd be tempted to ask if the world can handle such if I weren't too damn happy to care.

So, if anyone ever wonders if miracles really do happen, take a quick look over here at the demon's girlfriend and you'll know they do.

Meeting @PortiaBellefle RE: Blood Farm

Meeting @PortiaBellefle RE: Blood Farm by SUN Blood featuring gothic jewelry

Executioners, Enforcers and My Own Insanity

I've been back in town for about a month now and things were going along pretty damn well, at least for me considering how much trouble I'm really in. Then out of the blue, Adria calls to say that an Enforcer has been asking a bunch of questions about me.

I tried my best to not let it scare me, but really, who am I kidding? The thought of going back to Rome absolutely terrifies me at this moment in time. Well, not really the going back part, because I love being in Rome and Italy in general. But going back there knowing what fate awaits me?

It's not fucking happening. I will not go without a fight. In fact, the only way I'm going back to that nightmare is in a jar like Talbot. You feeling me?

And if that wasn't enough, I ran into everyone's favorite executioner, Jullieus. Seems he's heard a rumor that I'm on the run. Now let me stop us all right here for a moment. This vampire is well known for his ability to torture and terrify even the bravest of souls. I'd be an absolute fool to not be fully aware that if he wanted he could send me to true death just for the fun of it.

That said, I pushed the fear that bubbled forth down and sweetly asked him what he'd do with such information, were it true. Of course I was trying to cover my cute little ass by flirting with him and trying to distract him from the conversation at hand.

Imagine my shock and utter delight when that sweet, handsome vampire said he wouldn't be rushing to tell anyone anything he knew. Of course he added that awful little FOR NOW to the end of that but I can overlook that FOR NOW.

Once I found this out, I began to relax a little more and got my flirt on. You see I've had a mad crush on that evil genius for quite some time now. The timing was just never that good for me to actually do more than drool from afar. So while I had the chance I flirted like crazy.

Hell, I know it's crazy, but I find him quite mouth watering. So I flirted. I even went so far as to say I'd happily suffer being chained in silver for one night in his bed. What can I say, I'm a sadistic fuck who's into pain mixed with pleasure. But you all knew that by now, I'm sure.

After the flirting ended and I headed home to my self-imposed isolation, I began to question my own sanity. Here I am, accused of murdering a child in a foreign country, and I'm flirting with a vampire that could actually destroy me. Yep, sanity is not my strong suit these nights. But frankly sanity is highly overrated.

Demon

I sat alone in my cottage, the one place where I was happy, my safe place and all I could think of were the memories that filled this place. Every room held the memory of his scent, the way it felt to have him in my undead life. I couldn't help but smile and set out in search of the snapshot I kept hidden in my desk. Pulling it out, I held it in my hands, letting a nail trace the outline of his smile.

We both looked happy in that one stolen moment that belonged only to us. Everything in me begged to see him again, to feel the warmth of his touch. I paced the living room, not sure that I should, but knowing that no matter what happened, I wanted to see him.

So many things had changed, hell I'd changed and my greatest fear was that he'd not like the new Sun. Shaking off the doubt, I opened myself fully and called to him. Before I knew what was happening, there was a knock at my door. I raced for the door, throwing it open and found myself staring into the eyes of someone I thought long gone from my undead life.

In a matter of seconds, every single thing in my undeath made sense again. I pushed the nagging little voice that warned me to be careful aside and just let myself feel. Something I hadn't done in far too long.

So many things needed to be said, but all I could think of was being in his arms and that's just where I ended up.

It felt so familiar and yet as if it was a whole new beginning at the same time. I don't have a clue what the future holds, hell I don't know what the next five minutes holds for us, but I do know that I have to give myself the chance to find out.

I'd rather have five minutes of complete happiness with him, than an eternity of wondering what if. And if it all goes horribly wrong, then I'll have the memory of being happy with him. But if it somehow works out, then I just may get the whole damn fairy tale.

Evil Rising

The pain was intense and I held to it as though it were my only salvation. The blinding pain of not feeding for such a long period of time mixed with the silver poisoning that was beginning to make it's way into my system was almost too much for one being to bear.

I'd used every ounce of my strength to just stay awake during the night. I needed to listen to the humans and what they had planned. My body was in dire need of downtime after two days of being forced to remain awake during the daylight hours. My face and neck were caked with my own dried blood from the bleeds and I would've happily drained the lot of them if given the chance. It had been many hundreds of years since I'd gone this long without feeding. But even then I'd had opportunity to feed from animals to stave off the intense hunger pains.

My growls of pain mingled with snarls of anger as the breathers continued the invasive questioning. With every vial of blood they withdrew from me, my hatred for them grew. I had to force myself to not focus on that hate in order to learn of their plans for me.

I heard talk of the IVL taking charge of me soon and the humans didn't seem to eager to let me go. I was under the impression that they were quite interested in the healing powers of my blood. I'd been subjected to having my blood taken and a foreign substance injected into me at various times.

In my weakened state there wasn't much I could to do prevent it, even if I hadn't been chained in the silver.

I often thought of what I'd do to them when I was released or managed to escape. It involved the entirety of their blood being spilled for my pleasure.

The burns on my flesh were severe and I knew I would need a lot of fresh blood in order to heal. Unfortunately that wasn't going to be an easy task, even after my escape.

I wish I could speak his name publicly but it would put him in grave danger, but I do appreciate the risks he took to secure my freedom. He fed me from his own wrist, just enough to give me the strength to move about freely. When we reached our first destination I was given a bit more of his blood in hopes that by nightfall I'd be well enough to travel further.

The nights all blended into one and with each passing moon I found my desire for human blood growing along with my hatred of those that breathed. Soon my only thoughts were of making them pay for what they'd done to me.

I couldn't stop the thoughts of killing them all and I no longer wished to live among them. I found myself craving the rush of killing. Once safely back in the United States, I found my undeath no longer consisted of shoe shopping and parties. Now all I could think of was blood and death.

I didn't fight the evil desires that consumed me. I clung to them and let myself imagine that everyone I fed from or killed were those that had placed me in this predicament. It wasn't long before I gave up the idea that I'd ever be the same. I enjoyed this new world I was living in far too much to ever go back to the boredom that was goodness.

Soon I was busy feeding from teacups and killing humans for sport. Hunting became my only desire and I happily gave into those desires.

DRAMA

The drama has really gotten old now. I'm well aware that there are many out there who don't like the character of Sun. To them I say, build a bridge and get over it. I'm not going anywhere.

Being rude and obnoxious to those that speak to Sun, or associate with her in anyway is uncalled for and is extremely childish. This is ROLE PLAY...perhaps you should learn how to do that so that you don't have time to be annoying.

I honestly don't give a fuck if you like Sun or not. I don't give a fuck if you talk bad about her behind her back or go out of your way to be rude to her. You don't bother me in the least.

But when you start attacking those that I care about or who I call friend, it's gone too far. Grow up. This is not high school or the playground. Find a new way to amuse yourself and leave innocent people alone.

I refuse to respond to those that start the drama or try to keep it going. You won't get me angry enough to go off on you. That just lowers me to your level. And frankly, I'm way better than that.

Go find someone else to bother, we don't need anymore crazy around here, we're full up.

Versions of the Truth....

Italy.

One of my most favorite haunts on Earth. I've spent several hundred years exploring the cities and learning the ways around the rules. This time I wasn't so lucky.

I'd been there about two weeks when the boredom set in and I decided to visit an old friend in the local vampire bar. I dressed to blend in, which means I donned my best designer dress and stilettos and headed out to find a little trouble.

What I didn't realize was, trouble was waiting for me to arrive. I'd been sitting at the bar for a mere few minutes when she walked in the door. I could smell her blood from across the crowd. She was something special, though to this day I'm not sure exactly what it was that attracted me to the young woman.

I watched her closely for awhile before making my move. I cornered her in the hallway just outside the lavatory and struck up a conversation. I could tell she was young but knowing how strict the laws are for humans amidst vampires in Italy, I figured she must be at least at the age of consent.

That age is higher for a human to consent to being a vampire donor than it would be for a human to human relationship. Apparently we're dangerous.

So while we chatted I managed to steer her towards the door, my hand resting on her back, guiding her. We'd just made it into the limo when things heated up and she consented to my feeding upon her.

The next few hours rushed by in a blur and to be honest I'm not exactly sure of what happened. The next memory I have is of waking up next to her naked body. I could tell she wasn't alive because I couldn't hear her heartbeat any longer. I felt as if I'd lost several hours and couldn't figure out exactly what had gone on inside my villa.

I was reaching for the phone to call in my clean up crew when the Italian authorities burst into my room. I could sense the vampires among them and knew things were about to get bad. For me anyway.

The body lying in my bed didn't help things any. Someone had seen the girl leave the bar with me and when she didn't return at the time she'd stated they'd contacted the local vampire authorities. They in turn notified the human police and both came knocking.

As they approached the house they found large amounts of blood and my companion's clothing strewn about the yard. This gave them cause for alarm and they entered my residence. Unfortunately for me, I was found with the body, with her dried blood on my lips.

They questioned me for days. I had been chained in silver in a human prison cell until the vampire's in charge there could arrange an appropriate place for me to be detained.

I continued to explain that I had no recollection of what had occurred and that the last memory I had of her was her laughing. She'd been alive and breathing.

I was informed that forensic evidence showed she'd been drained by a vampire and that the only vampire in residence in my villa was myself.

I sat in their holding cell, the silver burning into my flesh for two months. I could feel the poisoning setting in, I was growing weaker. I'd begun to give up hope that I'd manage to escape before being transferred to the vampires.

The end of the second month of being detained, I was in downtime to avoid the hunger I felt so strongly, when SHE walked in. Imagine my surprise to find an old friend standing just outside of my cell.

She didn't bother to explain how she'd come to know I was there and I sure didn't ask. She explained that just before dawn a vampire would arrive to take me out of the cell. He'd be carrying papers that would inform the breathers that he was with the IVL and he'd be taking possession of the prisoner, that being me.

The exchange went off without a hitch until we'd reached the outside. It was then that we crossed paths with a real IVL agent on his way into the building. I just knew we were caught, but that wasn't the case. An Enforcer appeared from the shadows and removed the threat.

I was ushered into the waiting vehicle and we sped out of town towards a secluded villa in the hills of Tuscany. We holed up there for days, until we were sure the commotion had died down some. During this time we didn't feed. There was no choice but to stay below ground. Hunting would draw attention and having bottled blood in the home would lead to an investigation. Every vampire must show ID to purchase Tru:Blood there and they are tracked by the area they are in. Luckily for us, there are breathers willing to help us out by owning property that we can hide in if necessary. The laws there are much different from here. As I'd learned the hard way.

Within the week we moved, under the cover of night, always managing to make it to our next destination before dawn and without detection. We'd gone from one safe house to another until finally I was ushered onto a private plane and given new documentation to return to the United States.

It was then that I'd been informed that the US had refused Italy's request to deport me home. They claimed I was not legal in the States since I'd failed to register. My anger grew when I heard this. I've lived in NOLA since the early 1800s and with the exception of a few hunting trips, I'd never left for more than a month at a time.

As we crossed the ocean I was informed that once we landed I'd be considered a fugitive and if any vampire in charge wished they could hand me over to the Italian Vampire League or the humans.

I was told to lay low and not draw attention to myself. But as you all know, that is not a possibility for me. The nature of my being is to hunt and kill. That alone draws attention.

I know I should mainstream and not be seen often, but frankly I don't give a fuck. It's the humans' influence that led to the laws in Italy that sent me on the run. I don't conform to the humans' laws or expectations. I'm Sunshine. I do as I please and if the humans don't like it, well, I can easily rid the world of them.

I'll continue to be who I am and if I'm caught, I'll find another way out. I haven't made it 847 years without learning a few tricks.

Stand Up 2 Cancer

For those that do not know the human that animates me is a cancer survivor! At the age of 17 she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and given only a slim chance at survival. In true Sun form, she faced it head on with courage and determination.

Tonight on all major networks, a benefit airs called Stand Up 2 Cancer. Without research funds, people WILL die.

Every day we are faced with issues and have to decide if we'll stand up and fight. Those who are facing cancer are faced with life or death daily. Some are unable to stand up for themselves and it is up to us, as a whole to stand up for them.

If you know someone fighting this fight, Stand Up! Call them, visit them, cook them a meal, take their kids out and do something fun. The smallest of things make the biggest difference when you're lying in bed sick. Not only are you helping them, but you're helping yourself.

If you have the funds, donate money to charities that earmark funds for research. Seet up an Alex's Lemonade stand and stand up like that little girl in FL that lost her battle with cancer.

If you have time, join a relay for life team or volunteer in the Children's Cancer ward. If no one stands up then Cancer wins.

My human and I are standing up and pledging to continue the fight. We CAN kick Cancer's ass!

Will YOU Stand Up??

The Smallest Gesture

Back in the days of when I was turned women wore their hair in elaborate updos. But with these unruly curls, mine refused to behave. Growing up my mother kept my hair in braids. Braids that I despised.

You see we did not have straighteners back then. If my hair needed to be put up, my mother would have to spend almost an entire day placing the iron in the fire, heating it and then ironing my hair straight. I, being the impatient person that I am, could not sit still for long periods of time and often would hide when my mother wanted my hair up. I came to hate my curls.

The night I went to that party, where I met Killian and my life changed, my mother had spent hours putting my hair in this upswept style, with a few tendrils falling around my face. However, by the time I met Kills, my curls had escaped, as usual. I was a frightful mess I'm sure.

I'd just pulled all of the pins out and pulled my hair back from my eyes using about ninety of the damn things when I met him.

A few nights after I rose, I was trying desperately to keep the curls under control and sat crying silently in my room when Killian came in to see what had me upset.

Looking back on it now, I feel foolish to have such concerns over something as simple as my hair, but as you know, when turned we stay the way we were the second we died. That meant I was stuck with these curls for an eternity. I explained to Killian how I had left behind my hair combs and that my grandmother had given them to me. They weren't much and not worth a dime, but without them, I felt lost.

The next night I rose to find a black box tied in green ribbon on my vanity. Opening it I was shocked to find the emerald encrusted hair combs. I lovingly caressed each one and then quickly pulled the hair from my eyes and tucked the combs into place.

I turned to find Killian watching me with a smile. I flew into his arms and kissed him. It was in that moment that I realized how much I felt for him. Even though we'd only been together a few nights, I knew in my heart that I belonged with him. That he was everything I'd ever wanted. I'll never forget his words that night.

~My Sunshine, how I love those curls of yours. So free and wild. So much like you. Promise me to never underestimate how powerful your natural beauty is Baby Doll.~

We made love that night, all night, for the first time. Killian was loving and gentle with me, and I was happier than I'd ever been as human. From that second on, I loved the wildness of my untamable curls and those emerald hair combs became priceless for me.

In such a small gesture, Killian had given me more than I could ever have hoped for. Those combs came to symbolize the love I felt for him, the happiness we shared that night, and a man that understood that sometimes the smallest things mean everything.

A conversation with myself....

How did this happen? He came here to destroy me, of that I'm sure and somehow we've ended up...HAPPY.

Happy and Sunshine don't mix. Happy scares me to life. *chuckles*

Could it be? Could he really mean what he says? Could we finally have found our way after all these centuries?

Or is it just a ploy? His way of exacting revenge...How am I supposed to know? Do I just blindly trust my maker? Will it be the end of me if I do?

Can I let myself be happy with him even if it's short-lived? Do I dare to dream that everything I ever wanted is standing in front of me, willing to give me himself?

Confessions of a Vampire

*sitting down with a human I met a few nights back on a hunt, crossing my legs and getting comfortable. Noting his nervousness with a smirk, asking him what he wishes to know. I chuckle lightly at his request to be told what being vampire is like. Leaning back and lowering my voice as I speak*

Being vampire is the most exciting and boring thing you'll ever become. *Tossing my hair back over my shoulder, I pause a moment before continuing, quickly getting lost in the tale of my kind*

Being trapped in this body, this shell can become a prison of sorts. I've walked the night for 847 years now. This body has served me well at times and been my biggest disadvantage at others.

I came to be during a time when my kind was hidden in shadows. We dared not venture out into society much for fear of being found out. It was a dangerous and exciting time to be vampire. The parties, the grand balls lasted deep into the night. Men and women partook of spirits often and we fed well without ever being suspected.

I was lucky in that my maker took the time to school me in the ways of vampire. Without his guidance I fear I would've been staked or burned very early on. You see I was an impulsive human, used to getting her way. *pauses to watch the breather shifting in his seat*

That often helped when I was hunting. Most men could not resist me when I turned on the charm. We fed well when I put my mind to getting what I wanted, but it also became a hinderance when I was dead set on having the unattainable.

Back then, we were not known for obeying rules. We did as we pleased for the most part. The AVL and Authority are fairly new systems of government in our culture. For the first 400 years of my existence very few rules existed. It was a simpler time. We all knew that too many deaths brought suspicion to our doors. We had excuses for why we weren't seen around town in the daylight hours and we moved frequently to avoid suspicion. *laughs softly to self* There was once a vampire circus that traveled around the countryside to avoid detection.

The humans were used to low life criminal types being among the nomads of their society so any deaths then were simply chalked up to the "circus freaks".

Things remained simple and fun until some of my kind started to wish for the rights that humans had. The newer vampires were missing the world they'd left behind. That's when talk of a governing body started to be tossed about. Next thing you know, the Authority was formed and laws were implemented. Laws we all were subject to. Gone were the days when you answered only to your maker.

Some adapted well, others were not so inclined to follow rules. That is when members of our kind began to become killers. The revolt against the Authority was unorganized and didn't last long. The Authority made examples out of anyone that fought the new world order.

They did not however, stop some of us from becoming rebels and killers. Though I guess that was always going to be the way things went. After the Great Revelation, things got much worse for us. *stops and stares at the human for several long moments*

It seems that members of your kind wish to humanize us and treat us as equals. And it appears that some of my kind wish to be nothing more than glorified humans with fangs. *growls*

We are NOT human. We are vampire and we are natural predators. You are our natural prey. Your kind has made us the killers that we are now. Coming out of the coffin was bad enough, but to humanize us is despicable.

We do not need your protection, or your rights. You are not our equals.

*growls and vamp speeds over to the young man, tearing into his throat before he even knows I've moved. Draining him and destroying any and all evidence that he was ever here.*

A life owed....

*sitting back in my chair, running a hand through my long brown hair, letting my thoughts run back to that night over 150 years ago.*

You see, Killian and I were married in 1155, about four days before my family was murdered and I turned Star. Killian wanted a wife and said that it would be strictly in name only. He kept going on and on about how it would help us if we were "legally" married. Then, he offered me an enormous amount of money if I married him. Enough that I just couldn't turn it down.

I didn't really know all the laws of our kind back then, I was still a newborn myself. So I agreed and the money was transferred to my account the night we married. Things were fine for quite sometime. I'd turned Star and we'd become a family, traveling the world together. We agreed to keep our marriage secret and I have up until a few nights ago when I HAD to tell Star.

Killian is back and angrier than ever with me. *my mind wandering, pausing to remember the events*

It was the winter of 1860, a time when the nights were cold and almost never ending. For the past few months Killian had been "courting" a wealthy Southern belle and frankly I was sick of hearing her cheery laughter throughout the house every night. They were always off in a corner somewhere kissing or laughing and I'd had more than I could stand.

I left the house just as it began to snow. I always found comfort in the snow, so I walked for what seemed hours, but most likely was only several minutes. We'd been in VA for almost a year now and I knew my way to Fredericksburg like the back of my hand. With talk of war, the town was ripe for hunting. Men and women simply disappeared back in those days, some in an effort to avoid being called to fight, some at the hands of us.

After feeding I went back home to find them still in the corner, only now they were wearing much less. Rolling my eyes I headed for the parlor and sat down trying to focus on my embroidery. It was about an hour later that I heard them, and my rage grew.

The thought of MY Kills making love to her was more than I could bear. I sped out the door and hid in her carriage while her driver was attending to personal business. When she got in to go home I instantly clapped a hand over her mouth and savagely attacked her. I drained her to the point of death then broke her neck. After killing her I took the driver's life and left them in a field with an overturned carriage, staging an attack.

The next evening when she didn't turn up Killian became worried and went in search of her. I knew I was in trouble when he returned carrying her lifeless body. He turned to me with the darkest eyes I'd ever seen.

I thought for sure he'd kill me that night, but he was so consumed with grief that I had the chance to run. I lied to Star and told her we had to go. I can't even remember the excuse I gave her but I got us the hell out of VA fast.

I knew he'd search for me, so I hired a witch to make a potion that would weaken our connection and make it nearly impossible to find us. And it worked, until a few nights ago.

Now here I sit, a walking target for his rage. A rage that has had 150 years to simmer. He claims I owe him a life. Honestly, I'm afraid its my life he wishes in exchange. I could save myself by telling him why I did it, but then he'd know the truth. And we can't have him knowing that I was in love with him when I murdered that bitch now can we?

An open letter to twitter....

The following is a message from the human that animates me. I'm turning the blog over to her as of this second..*grins and steps back*

Hi, I'm the human behind Sun. My name is Donna. I'd like to address the drama that seems to have consumed twitter.

I don't know about you, but I come to twitter RP to have fun and escape the drama of real life for a few minutes, hours, whatever. It seems to me that recently the drama has just become childish and ridiculous.

If you don't like someone, don't follow them. If you hate everything they say, don't respond to them. Twitter has been kind enough to offer us the option of blocking people that annoy, harass or otherwise fuck up our days and nights. I for one am using that option more and more.

I've come to realize that if you respond to someone's negativity towards you on stream, it just keeps the vicious cycle of drama going. So I've stopped responding. You will not get me to yell at you. If you're trying to create drama in my life as Sun, you're wasting your time. I have no use for it. I couldn't care less if I have ONE follower or a million. Those numbers do not define me or my character's RP. That should be evident in the almost 600 tweeters I removed or blocked when I returned.

If I follow you, it's because you interest me or you requested to follow me and have caused me no drama. I feel honored each time someone wishes to read what I write and would hope that they find enjoyment in it. But if they don't and wish to unfollow me, then that's perfectly fine.

My real life has more than enough chaos and drama to sustain me for an eternity. I do not need nor want it in my RP. So as I said, I choose to not respond to it. There will be those that call me weak and stupid for doing so, but frankly I couldn't care less what they think of me. I'm not here to please them. I'm here to have fun and be creative.

It's my RP, no one else's, so no one else has a say so in what I do as Sun, except for those I RP with on a nightly basis. I made changes to the character when I returned so that I could have a fresh start. I'm having fun with her again and hope it continues.

So if you think that saying rude or untrue things about me is going to upset me or hurt me, you're wrong. I honestly don't care what you say, you don't determine my self-worth as Sun or Donna. I am the only one that can do that. I can't stop the drama llamas from doing what they do, but I can choose to not acknowledge or participate in it.

For those that have been kind and been a friend through it all, thank you. I look forward to interacting with you more in the future.

Now I'll take my rightful place back behind Sun and let her have fun in her undeath.

Donna, the human that animates Sun

Becoming Sunshine

I opened my eyes to darkness and found the one thing that I'd always desired. Killian saved me from a life of boredom, a loveless marriage and an early death. *laughs* Though I guess the death part isn't really true is it?

He gave me the world and for those first two years we were inseparable. In my maker I'd found my lover, my best friend, my partner in mayhem and chaos. He taught me the ways of our kind in a time when being vampire meant fear and loathing for us. Oh how I miss the days of dark alleys and fearful humans.

We spent the better part of those two years on the outskirts of London feasting upon farmers and peasants. On occasion we'd find ourselves mixing with the Royals. Those were the best nights for feeding. The blue bloods taste divine. The higher the station in life, the sweeter the blood.

I longed to see the world and Kills was willing to give me anything I wished just to keep me at his side. We'd often use the ruse of being a newly married couple with no family and so it just became second nature to use his name. It also helped when we came across the posters searching for Sunshine Spencer. *rolls eyes* As if anyone would recognize me from that horrid picture they chose to use.

Being turned had increased my physical appearance, my pale skin glistened in the pale moonlight and my blue eyes sparkled with curiosity as I saw life anew. Killian spared no expense when it came to my appearance. I was always the most stylish, belle of the ball wherever we went. That attention to detail was just what was needed to fool the bloodbags into a false sense of security. We fed well on the nights we attended the social events. Laughter filled the night as we drug victims off to have our way with them.

More often than not, Kills and I would end up in bed with more than one of our meals. He opened my eyes to the ways a woman can use her body to achieve the things she most wanted. As my glamoring abilities grew, our wealth did too. Many an aristocrat gave over his fortune to me and a few even set us up in apartments with an allowance. We used that money to travel. It would've much simpler if I'd been able to fly like Killian back then. That was a gift that would come in time, but at the time I wanted it so badly. To travel by ship was dangerous for us. We'd have to be shipped as deceased bodies. *growls* How I despised coffins, but it was the only safe way to avoid being staked. During those trips he'd go out well past dark to bring back a meal or two for us to share but the rules were clear, no draining for fear of starting a panic and witch hunt aboard the ship.

We explored the Irish countryside and made a short stop in Italy before returning to London for the holiday season of 1155. It was then that I decided I wanted to see my family. Killian forbid it, but I often disobeyed it if he hadn't commanded me. I snuck off one night under the pretense of "courting" an aristocrat that fancied me and ran to my family's home. I found the home dark and silent and the smell of blood in the frosty air sent my senses reeling. Tearing through the house I found my mother and father lifeless in the kitchen. My brothers were dead in the living room. I raced up the stairs and found Starr face down on her bed. I was in such a rage that it was several minutes before I sensed her faint heartbeat. In a frenzy I turned her over and tore into her neck, draining her of what little blood was left. I immediately ripped open my own wrist and held it to her mouth forcing her to drink.

I carried her out back and hurried to dig the grave when I felt his hand on my shoulder. He'd felt my rage and used our bond to find me. Seeing the pain in my eyes, Killian gave in and allowed me to save my sister. He buried us and sat guard over us at night, sleeping in the cellar in the daylight hours. Rising three nights later I found our family buried and the home cleaned. Starr rose vampire and the three of us left the family homestead, never to return lest our secret be found out.........

Turning Sunshine.

It was spring of 1153 and one of those nights when the air is just starting to turn warm and the fragrance of the flowers fills the night. I'd spent the day napping for a party that night. Starr and I had put on our best dresses and headed out in the carriage that Father always kept at the ready for us. We weren't upper class by any means, but we weren't commoners either. This party was supposed to solidify my courtship with one of the Beaumont boys. Not that I wanted to marry him, but I was considered an old maid at the age of 25.

This marriage was to greatly increase our family's standing in society. As much as I detested the idea of marrying that old mealy mouth Michael, I had no choice. It was my duty to ensure our family's future. Tired of dancing with my betrothed I asked for a cup of cider and stole away to the gardens when he went to retrieve it.

That's when I met him. There he stood, leaning against the trunk of a magnolia tree looking like a walking dream. His sandy hair shone in the moonlight, his blue eyes sparkled with mischief. I stopped dead in my tracks half way to him. This man or whatever he was that stood in my path was my fantasy come true. He calmed my fears with a slight upturn of his lips.

I stood still chewing on my bottom lip while the music floated on the air around us. He moved towards me and I held my breath waiting for his touch. Much to my surprise what I felt was icy cold lips on my neck. The scream lay lodged in my throat as his hand covered my mouth. Fear took hold and I fought him at every turn. His strength was that of twenty men holding me down.

It was the first and last time I ever wished for my betrothed to come for me. Before I knew what was happening the world went dark.

I awoke three days later, wrapped in his arms somewhere in a grave. The scream tore through me as I frantically clawed at the earth that covered me. His hands stilled mine as he helpd me out of that grave. Standing beneath the full moon that night, I saw my future clearly. I was no longer human, no longer the sole means for my family's status in the town. I was free or so I thought.

I soon learned his name was Killian Blood and he was offering me the world for a small price. Without thought I jumped at the chance and gave into my impulses. We made love that night and it was more than I ever imagined. His deep, lazy Irish drawl filled my soul with desire as he whispered in my ear. I was his. His child, his lover, HIS.

And I would remain such for many years to come.......................

A new Sun rising!

“There is nothing like returning to a place that reminds unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” ~ Nelson Mandela ~

After much thought and consideration, Sun returns in a much different frame of mind than before. In this undeath the Sun you knew is not the Sun you're getting.

All storylines prior are null and void. She returns with the family that stuck by her when everyone else turned their backs. Chase remains her child, Beth, her beautiful daughter-in-law, Amber continues her job as dayperson and Starr remains her sister, but she's been aged. (see her portrayer for that detail)

That's where all similarities end. From this second forward Sunshine Blood is no longer that newborn vamp. She is now 847 years undead. Her maker remains Killian Blood but he is not in Louisiana. There was never a Draven in her life, nor does she have a teacup human. Sunshine isn't love's biggest fan. Her past remains a mystery to most around her and she prefers to keep it that way. There are things there that she is not proud of and people she'd rather forget ever crossed her path. Her relationship with her maker is not talked about but she wears his name as hers for a reason. Just don't ask too many questions, she's not that forthcoming with information.

Sit back, buckle up and hang on, this is gonna be one hell of a ride.